i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize