I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
