party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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