i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize