Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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