Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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