drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
