It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
