We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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