I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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