Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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