So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
