I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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