so that wasnt chicken after all
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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