So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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