If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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