so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
