Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
