I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
