there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
