We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
