I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
where are my eyebrows?
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