i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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