I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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