Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
