You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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