Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
