make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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