Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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