I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I believe in your delicious
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
