If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
