I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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