fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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