____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
