I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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