is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
