onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
