"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
