I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
