hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
