If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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