Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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