No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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