He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
