I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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