Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
