i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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