I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
