we're blogging at a bar
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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