I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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