Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
