Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
