ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
