i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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