I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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