i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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