you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
