tell your sister to shave her snatch
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
