I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
where am i from again
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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