**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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