on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
